[Beth.]

I don't know when you decided to act like I don't exist. You never make time for a conversation anymore, it's hurting me so much Mom. You said you would be here for me through everything I'm going through and your deserting me. I'm reaching out to you so bad over and over and your not giving me your hand. I need help, really soon. Or else it's going to be another huge mishap where I'm watching you and dad scream at me in the hospital probably. I keep thinking about doing it, the more nights I'm alone the closer I get to doing it. And your putting him before John and I still and it's not fair. Just because I'm 18 now it's like you think I don't need any attention or love anymore. I miss our talks and how I used to believe you when you said you were going to be here for me every step of the way. I finally stood up to one problem, which has hurt me so incredibly bad, not that you care, and now I'm alone to deal with it. Just like I was scared would happen. And yet again, thanks for spending days with him when I've been asking to have one day out with you for soo long. You make me wanna die.