[MechanicGodCreation]

I think you may have a big problem on your hands, I really think that you should look into this. Some kind of alcohol counsellling or AA meetings something to keep your mind off it and keep you strong while trying to change.

I know it seems attractive because it can make you forget things, give you more confidence, and just have all these seemingly good side affects. But trust me, it's certainly not worth it once you get too far down the road. I'm really happy that you've decided you want help for this and I really hope you see it through.

Good luck and don't ever hesitate to PM me if you need help with this, or anything.