[lelala]

-my mom is in the hospital with an infection and a fever and they don't know why.

-she had her two kidneys removed.

-goes to dialysis three times a week to replace the kidneys and keep her alive.

-she had breast cancer when i was in 5th grade. 4 years ago. thats when everything went to hell.

-she had lupus since she was 14 which has prevented her to be on a special diet and prevented her from doing things (roller coasters,outside activities,etc...)

-i've been physically and verbally abused since 4th grade

-physically- hit by "best friend" a few times. pushed against lockers, tripped to the ground to the point where i was bleeding, kicked in the stomach, almost raped, pushed into poles and walls to the point where my face was scratched up.

-verbally-told that "you should have never been born and that people are happy you were adopted because no one wants you just like your birthparents"

-i was adopted at birth because of an alcoholic 16 yr old birthmother, who had my half brother with his birth dad, broke up with him, got together with my birth dad, had me, then got back with the first guy who said he didn't want anyone else's child but his own so he forced to give me away. and she didn't tell her parents about me either.

-i'm only 5" which is another reason that i get abused

-i used to SH and smoke.

-i have a boyfriend who has anger issues and gets mad at me ALOT

-i was forced to move and transfer schools in january and parents got divorced(all happened in one week)

-RECENTLY=i was supposed to go to my friends house this weekend. and her mom read her txts cause she wasn't supposed to be awake or texting, and saw our conversation cause my friend was asking questions about smoking and asking me to get some and where we would get it,etc. and told my friend to tell me that the mom is going to call my parents, and i feel guilty as it is with all the stuff going on already. my mom knows about my smoking past and we already had a talk. and i was crying hysterically already and she said she wasn't going to ground me or anything. but i feel bad about my dad finding out and i hate that i cant see my friend this weekend.

ive been through way more but thats most of it

the current to add is last
ive been thru more than most 14 yr olds would have to go through in 4 yrs
oh and ive been becoming anorexic recently and trying to overdose on my antidepressants