[Lil-x]

I'm getting in even more of a mess. Making it worse for myself. I keep drinking all the time to numb my feelings. So i'm so drunk i don't think. I always drink alone. I don't know what to do, I either cut, purge or get really, really drunk.

It's pretty extreme, I know it's not good for me, I just dont care anymore.

But, for this one thing, I actually want help. I'm so addicted to the numbness, am I an alcoholic?

It's really bad, like every night. Just get so completely smashed, and tonight I haven't because well I can't find any alcohol. I'm going crazy without it.

What should I do as an alternative to make myself feel numb, my journals at home. I've tried physical stuff like dancing to paramore, but things are screwing me up.

AGH! Help me, please.