[SnowKitten]

You manipulative, crazy, suicidal bitch! YOU are the reason I'm like this. YOU are the reason I cut and smoke, again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and again. They are addictions caused and feuled by you. YOU are the reason that I hate myself, you caused my eating disorder, smoking, and cutting, and self loathing, and all the shit wrong in my life. You chased my dad away, and you are ruining my brother just like you ruined me. I come back for more and more and more. You keep at it, grinding me down to the bone. Babysit your brother, Carey. Do what I say Carey, Be a good drone, Carey. Don't live your life like you want to, Carey, live it like I want you to. Carey, your friends are horrible people. Get these friends instead. Carey, pick up that mess. Carey, stop crying. Oh, boo-hoo for Carey huh? Your life isn't so damn hard. Look what I've done for you. You think MY life is easy, Carey? It's not. My life is more brutal than you will EVER understand.

Carey, I SAID STOP CRYING!!!

This is whatI've come to... A shadow of myself. And it's your fault. Can't you just understand that I need a mother? I don't need a modelesque role model to get my anger, depression, and self-hatred. I have that all by myself. I need a mother, to hold me when I'm crying, not yelling at me to stop. I need a comforting person to hug me when I have gotten hurt, not to hurt me.

I need you mom. I need you to BE my mom.