[niente_]

Ok, so I loved yesterday when we made love for the first time. I did my best not to push you in to it. I kept asking if you were okay, if you were fine, that you didn't have to do it if you didn't want to, but you seemed fine. You asked to stop and we did, and that was fine with me. I told you it was fine with me.

And today we arranged to meet. Then I get a text "Do you still want me to come round?" What kind of a message was that ... you never send texts like those. We arranged it. So yes, I did, if you wanted to. But if you didn't want to come round then you didn't have to.

And you came round, late. And then we cuddled on the sofa and when you began kissing my neck I thought I was going to get a repeat of yesterday. You hinted yesterday that it could happen again. But then you said "I think we'll keep our clothes on today ..." and I was like "Oh ... okay." But then you started caressing my legs and sliding your hand up my top, and I didn't know what you wanted from me. I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME!! I don't understand you! And the whole "I think we'll keep our clothes on today" thing gave me the impression that you didn't enjoy yesterday and that you even didn't want to do it yesterday, even though I took every opportunity to ask if it was okay with you. I don't get you. Tell me what was going on!!