I'm not really sure if i'm developing some form of Anorexia. I apologize to anyone that does have one. I don't mean for this to offend anyone.
Last year, my self-esteem, confidence, and self image all took a hit at once and I started having minor depression. Around January that year I started worrying about my body and the slumps I have on my stomach on legs. Eventually, I had started dropping meals and snacks. I got to about 1.5 meals a day until I looked at my weight and stopped knowing I was underweight. I had only done it for about 2 weeks so it wasn't serious then.
This year my self-esteem, confidence, and self image all got way worse. I'm struggling with depression problems. (which you can read about in a thread I posted.) About February, I got really worried again about the way I looked. I saw my naturally chubby cheeks and my stomach flab and went insane. I stopped eating completely, and I would go for about 3 days with 2 snacks. I counted my calorie intake and wrote down the calories of all the things I used to eat normally figuring out what I could and couldn't eat.
Then it got serious. I started obsessively watching youtube videos on anorexia telling myself "You can look like that" and viewing Pro-Ana websites on a daily basis.
Now, I ditched the pro-Ana sites because I found them worthless. I still check youtube for new anorexia videos after watching near all of them often. I've been running on a YooHoo (XXX Calories) and one meal a day if I don't absolutely lose it. When I do lose it, it's only part of a cheez-it mini box and 2 or 3 yoohoos. The most i've ever eaten in a day the past 3 or 4 months were a fast food meal (My parents don't know so they take me out to fast food places sometimes) and a soda plus the yoohoo and a snack.
Whenever I tell myself I need to stop, i'll try and try. I'll eat a meal and afterwards I will get insanely guilty and proceed to a treadmill.
About a week ago, I decided I NEEDED to stop regardless of what I gained. I'm at (Really Low) on my BMI, and I weighed (Not Allowed To Say) pounds. (Yes, I'm short so it's not as much as you think) I stepped on our scale a few days ago and threw a fit. Since I started eating more I had went up to (Not Allowed to Post) pounds and I was angry and teary at the same time. I feel like i'm never going to get rid of this even if I want to be able to eat again. I'm back down to (Not Allowed to Post)pounds now.
Is this Anorexia? Whenever I read about anorexia, it's always way worse than this.
I'm not asking to be diagnosed, i'm asking if these are signs of development.