[no.ordinary.dreamer]

Mom,

I have struggled with depression. I have self harmed. I have thought of committing suicide. I have done your job. I am the mother in this family not you. The only thing you ever did for me or your other two kids was discipline us. You never nurtured us.
This is for you:

What do you want me to say?
Do you want me to say I’m sorry
For not wanting to hear you bitch
For wanting to be a teenager
For not wanting to take care of everything
For wanting you to take care of me…
I will never say sorry for any of that

But I will say sorry
For trying to hold everything together
When hell was all we faced
And I’m sorry
For holding you when you cried
Knowing you would never hold me
Just wait till I’m gone
Then you will appreciate me.