LINK
JOURNEY OF THE ADOPTED SELF
Go to page thirty. Hopefully that works. That's one of the books, but I found it to be one of the most enlightening. It's around three pages and kinda small print, thus copying it would take about an hour that I don't have. But, hopefully that link will work.
As said, and one of the books stated in those trying to understand why they feel this way - don't use your brain, it'll tell you what you're feeling isn't logical, follow your heart and what you feel. For me I have seriously repressed to a point that I didn't even have control over myself man. I can't explain this, it's scary - it's primal. It feels like, in a way, I've become a wolf who's lost it's pack. Those are the best words I can use to describe it and other adoptees looking back on their own crises that some go through and their reunion with their parents - very strong and primal feelings are at play here.
Every one of us have different experiences, some feel it more than others, some don't even feel it or acknowledge it at all. Hell, I'm going through it and I can't even understand it because I know what I'm going through by all logical terms shouldn't make sense.
The scene that's always struck me is Luke Skywalker watching the sky seeing the dual sunsets. That's my life.