[ThePunkAlien]

1. My father didn't stick around, every day I'm reminded in my mind of how weak he was. It is my duty in life to be NOTHING like my father. Still, I can't understand the whole parental shame thing... possibly it's perhaps, if I was growing inside one of these women who decided to off me just because of their parents, I wouldn't be around right now. As for complications - if it's the possibility of death, alright do it, if it's the possibility of the child living a life of pain, alright do it. Any other complications, I can't really see.

2. May I repeat, my birth mother was poor. She had no means of providing for me, yet she didn't go with abortion.

3. It's emotional on both the mother and the embryo, believe me, I have scars from it too - just read what happens psychologically for a lot of adoptees. It's still better than death though, way better. Physical pain? Still can't see that, because that's not even close to a good enough excuse in my books. It's hard letting go, for both, both sides can account to that - but it is the right choice to make, it's being strong. Now I've never known anyone who had an abortion, but I can imagine the after-effects of that would be psychologically draining as well - just as much, if not more so than adoption. Because for the rest of her life, she has to live with the idea that she killed her baby rather than being strong and going through with it and putting it up for adoption so the baby can have a chance at a better life.

I don't know how to see an abortion as an easy way out if the reasons alone constitute: family, peers, money. That's not good enough. There should be concrete reasons such as the possibility of the baby being born with severe birth defects or the birth mother becoming severely ill threatening death. Those, are reasons, "my parents will have a fit" isn't. "My boyfriend ran out" isn't. "What will kids in school think" isn't. The mother wants to provide a good life for her child, she'd opt for adoption rather than death, because then she can live with the notion and belief that she did give her child a better life. Personally, I think that's a lot better to live with.

Do I know concrete details in my memory? No, but I do know the intense connection between mother and child is there and exists even though I've never even seen her face. As you said it's hard for the birth mother to give up the child, because it will be with her the rest of her life - same for the baby. But, what one has to live with in their head is a lot better I'd say, how can it not be? How can living with "I gave up and got an abortion" ever be better than "I staid strong and got an adoption to provide my child with opportunity for a better life"?