[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through all of this.

First, I want to say that I don't think you, or anyone else, is too sick to recover. It does take time and it definitely takes a lot of effort, but you can get to a place where you feel better. Every little step counts.

You said you're leaving your outpatient program. Are there any other programs you may be able to join? For example, I do group therapy twice a week (two separate groups, each meeting once per week) and also see an individual therapist. If you can at least see an individual therapist you won't be doing things all on your own.

I bet your friend did what she did because she was concerned, but I can see how the way she went about it would not be helpful. I think that would make me anxious too! Do you know how your friend can better support you, such as helping you distract yourself when you have strong urges? It might be a good idea to sit down with her and talk to her about how she can help you.

It sounds like your boyfriend is really pressuring you. I saw your other thread with your boyfriend and touched upon it, and I want to reiterate how inappropriate his behavior is. He shouldn't be treating you like this and I do strongly encourage you to reconsider this relationship.

The best suggestion I have for self harm injuries is loose fitting clothing so the injuries aren't sticking to the clothing as much. You can wear band-aids to prevent some of the rubbing but make sure there are times where they can air out as well.

I do strongly encourage you to be honest about your safety levels. The key to recovery is honesty, because people have to understand the kind of support you need in order to best help you. It's one way to show that you are really putting in the time and effort to recover.

I hope things improve for you soon!

Take care,
Dez