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I think it is amazing that you are thinking of talking to your counselor about these thoughts, or in the group therapy session. That takes a whole lot of courage and I think the fact that you are considering telling someone means a part of you DOES want help/to get better. If it's hard to talk about verbally you can also write it out in a letter that you hand to the person you want to tell. It helps you make sure you get everything out without any type of nerves or interruptions getting in the way, and you can get every point you want to make out.

I would also tell your counselor about the suicide pact you are in so your boyfriend can get some help too. A suicide pact is something serious and if he's in a bad place he deserves to get help for how he's feeling too. He may be upset at first but he will realize that you are only doing this for his benefit.