So..I am addicted to self-harm, cigarettes, and porn. I'm not proud of it whatsoever. In regards to the self-harm, I've been inpatient because I've attempted suicide by slitting my wrists or going to hang myself or trying to overdose. Not fun. None of my inpatient stays have helped, and my parents are beginning to do arm and leg checks. They don't really check my upper thighs so I'm going to cut there I'm pretty sure. I really wanna die. I wanna cut so deep I can't stop the bleeding. Is this bad? It is normal to have these thoughts 24.7 like I do? I have major depressive disorder and I've felt this way for 2 years. I started self-harming when I was 10, I'm 12 now. Nobody caught me until December a year ago. I wanna just bash my head into a fucking wall and kill myself. I wanna fucking die so much. When will this fucking end??? I don't wanna end up in the hospital again, since I just fucking got out, but I know I SHOULD tell someone, but I don't want too. I wanna just cut myself without anyone knowing...for one time fucking ever.