[Proud90sKid]

I am dependent on benzos and also an alcoholic. Im a grown dude but weigh like a light girl (partially because of the alcohol induced pancreatitis Ive developed reducing nutrient absorbtion AND appetite) but I literally cannot even feel 8 drinks at all and am barely even feeling 12. No exaggeration(though I wish it wasnt true) I just want to quit. Thats my long term goal. Short term goal though is to drink to alleviate the literal shakes. These goals sort of "collide" and dont mix. I feel Ive messed up pretty bad.

Cant remember the last day I didnt drink. And I cannot remember the most recent day I didnt technically binge drink.... been too long and Ive had maybe 3 alcohol free days so far in 2024. And each of those days were involuntary. Have had 4 attacks of pancreatitis since the end of 2023.

Yes, in case you were wondering: I am a full blown alcoholic.