[Moxie.]

Hey Lucy,

Loving an addict can be challenging and painful. I'm sorry to hear that you're going through that.

Even though your brother isn't willing to join you in having a conversation with your dad, it may still be worthwhile for you to talk to him on your own. Sometimes, one of the best things we can do for addicts in our lives is remind them that we still care and that we still believe that they can recover from their addiction. Keep in mind that the conversation may become emotional or that your dad may become argumentative, particularly if he doesn't see his alcohol consumption as a problem. Because of that, it might be helpful for you to write down what you'd like to say to help keep you on track. You can remind your dad how much you love him and let him know that you're worried about him. Let him know that you are there to support him and that you want to see him be healthy again. It may even be helpful for you to research some recovery resources in case your dad decides that he does want to get help.

It is also possible that your dad won't be receptive to what you have to say. People with substance addictions typically won't recover until they truly feel ready. While he might be ready now (and I hope he is!), it's just as possible that he won't be. While it's definitely okay for you to feel whatever emotions come up, do your best not to yell or start an argument with him, as that could shut him down more. Instead, calmly remind him that you love him and that you will be there to support him whenever he does decide that he's ready. You may also want to take a self-assessment of your own ability to handle his alcoholism. Ask yourself if it is still healthy for you to be in his life. If it is, great! Keep showing up and showing him love and compassion. But, if you find that it isn't healthy, it's okay to take a step back for a while.

Caring for an alcoholic is challenging, so it's vitally important that you take care of yourself as well. Perhaps you could research support groups, such as Al-Anon, in your area. Being able to talk to others who understand what you're going through can be a huge help in relieving some of the emotional burden. If support groups aren't accessible to you, perhaps you can talk to a close friend or family member about what you're feeling. You might also want to take part in self-care activities, whatever that looks like for you. The important thing is that you continue to make your needs and well-being a priority.

If there is anything I can do to help, please don't hesitate to reach out.

Take care,
Sam