[VBertrand]

Hello, I'm 39 years old so quite a lot older than most here. But I wanted to get advice regarding something that I experienced recently with a 17 year old boy. I had attended a friend's very large 40th birthday party and one of the boys who was helping out needed a ride home. He lives not far from me so I offered to drop him off. He was in the passenger seat and shortly after we left I looked over at him while we were talking and noticed he had exposed his erection. I wasn't shocked but obviously a little surprised. He shyly suggested that I could "play with it" if I was looking for something to do while driving. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I thanked him for the offer, and told him unfortunately I couldn't do it because I have a boyfriend. He accepted that and said it was ok. I thought about whether I had done or said anything at the party that may have encouraged him. Beyond wearing a bikini I couldn't think of anything.

I told him that he should ask a woman’s permission first before exposing it in a car. And if she says yes then he can take the next step and give her the option of playing with it while she drives. If she knows that option is available to her she can make her own decision if she wants to do it or not.

As it turns out, I know his mother. She volunteers with the same organization I do. I'm just wondering if I should tell her what he did with me? Where I live the legal age for sexual activity is 16, and he is 17 so I don't think it's my right to interfere with his choices, but he seems very innocent and maybe even a little naive. I am concerned that he may not fully understand what he is getting into. Telling his mother might be a violation of his privacy, but is it important to warn her about this? As far as I know he only exposed himself to me. But he could continue to do it with other women he meets and some will of course do what I declined to do to him in the car. Maybe that's fine. I don't know.

I worry that he may meet a woman who sees him as sexually available and would seek to take advantage of him. I feel wary about him being in a woman's car exposing himself when he doesn't know her well. She could easily drive him to her house and pressure him to do things far beyond what he was expecting in her car. It seems like a very large power imbalance.

It's possible that I am over-thinking this and nothing like the above will occur. But I would appreciate any opinions on the right course to take. Thank you!