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Hey,

This is a lot to go through! You asked if there are more genders that you could be, and I wanted to link you to our Queer Dictionary, that has a lot of information on various sexualities and gender identities. Remember you don't even have to put a label on it if you don't want to. I don't label mine because the full label doesn't matter to me, just how I feel. You can also experiment with different labels until you find one that feels right to you.

I'm wondering if there are any LGBT+ support groups in your school or your nearby town? I know they're strict about what goes in and out of the house, but would they be strict about where you go if you say if you are joining a club or social group? You can stretch the truth on where you are going if you are safe to do so. If you can join one of those, maybe someone in the group would be willing to allow you to ship the binder to them that way, because they'd be more understanding of what you're going through. If not, it's a good plan to meet more people in September when school starts who can hopefully help you out.

Is there another family member you can ask like an aunt, uncle, or cousin who may be safe to talk to? I know it's different but most of my family knows about my mental health and they didn't tell my parents or the people who I didn't want knowing. Maybe your family would be the same way and would be willing to keep the secret for you until you are ready to come out.

It does sound like your parents are a bit weird about being LGBTQ+. To gauge their reaction, you can always bring up something that you saw on the news or on TV and see what they say. You can also provide education that way without it being directly about you. My parents are the same way about they/them pronouns. I'm not out to them but when I'm referring to my friend I always make sure to tell them "they" when they call them "she."

I don't know if this helped at all but I wanted to make sure you know you're not alone. It can be tough going through this but I know you've got this.

Take care,
Dez