[TH Anonymous]

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Hi!
So recently, I've been questioning.. I think I'm definitely bi and I think I'm either genderfluid, agender, or nonbinary (sort of a question: are there any other genders that I could be? Most times I want to be more masculine and sometimes I want to be feminine). Whatever it is, I'm not really comfortable in my body. I was born a female, and sometimes I love that, but most times I have that. I just don't like the way I look, I sometimes get really really anxious when I look in the mirror. Which is why I would like to acquire a binder, but the thing is my parents would not approve. (I also have not come out to them, and I don't really want to as lots of things are already going on and... other stuff, I'll mention later)
So, my first question: is there to get a binder without my parents knowing? They're fairly strict and monitor almost everything that comes in and out of the house. I've heard of the 'friend' method– get it shipped to a friend, but the problem is I don't have any friends close enough to have it shipped to them (but I'm planning to have more friends in September, when school starts).
Another thing I want to talk about is my parents. If you directly asked them, I'm sure they would say they're not homophobic/transphobic at all, but indirectly? They're a bit weird. For example, sometimes my mom will assume someone's gay (on tv or sometimes in real life, but she'll never say it to their face) and she thinks that 'they them' pronouns are just a trend (two of my friends use they them pronouns, when her and I were talking about them she got mixed up and then laughed, proceeding to jokingly call them 'it'). Another time I wanted clothes from the boy's section, she let me get them but them asked accusingly 'are you a lesbian??'. I don't want to come out for the time being but I know at some point in the future I'll probably accidentally out myself. That just sounds like something I'd do. Or I might not tell them and it might gradually appear. Are they slightly weird about it? I feel like they would make fun of me if, hypothetically, I was trans (I'm probably not).
(also this is just my opinion, but being straight should not be the default. imagine if people had to come out as straight?)
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