[¯|_(ツ)_|¯]

Hey,

I'm sorry you're going through this! There are a few things that I can see being problematic, such as your mother hitting you, not respecting your boundaries as far as physical touch, and commenting on your body. These are unhealthy to do in any type of relationship, whether familial, romantic, or otherwise.

You mentioned your dad took things lightly when you went on a walk. Do you think he's someone you can talk to about what is going on? You can say that when -x- happens, you feel -y- or react with -z.- Ask him if he can talk to your mom or at least set up a family meeting where the two of you can talk about things and he can serve as a mediator so things don't get out of hand.

I also like the idea of writing your mom a letter if you don't think it's possible to talk to her in person. I'd use specific examples, but use "I statements," instead of "you statements" like I mentioned above. You can say things like "when people comment on my body, I feel (emotion). I would rather not have comments like this made towards me anymore." You can also talk about your boundaries with physical touch. You can tell her that it's not because you don't love her, but you don't like to be touched like that. Is there another way she can express her love to you that doesn't involve touching, such as kind words? Maybe tell her that as well. The good thing about writing it in the form of a letter is you can really put some thought into what you want to say and the things you want to get off your chest without nerves and interruptions getting in the way. You can edit the letter as many times as you want before giving it to her or leaving it where she can find it.

As far as the eating, it sounds like you could be developing disordered eating patterns. That doesn't mean you have an eating disorder right now, but disordered eating patterns aren't healthy eating habits and may or may not lead to an eating disorder later on. The thing I always remind myself of is that you can be healthy at any weight, meaning you can be healthy and overweight or skinny and unhealthy. It all depends on people's personal habits. Maybe you can ask your mom to take you to a nutritionist or dietician, because they can help you develop a meal plan that's healthy for you and your individual needs. And as far as exercise goes, you don't have to do anything extreme. Even going on a walk or doing something light in your room is a great start. Sometimes I notice I feel more energized after I start exercising, even if it means I have to force myself to get out of bed and go to the gym. But if you do start exercising it's important that you don't take it to the extreme either. I did that for a while and I did lose weight, but it wasn't healthy and I also gained it all back when the extreme exercise and dieting was no longer sustainable.

There's no age limit on joining! I think I've seen people as young as 11 on occasion. I can't guarantee your parents won't snoop so the best thing to do is log out of your account any time you are done using it and make the password something she can't guess. Also clear your browsing history if you'd like to take things a step further. If you are worried about her snooping you can also use a fake name and pick a username that isn't something that would be obvious it's you. For example, maybe avoid using a pet's name as a username unless it's a very common name. If you make an account, there's also a "panic button" you can set up. If you go to User CP -> Edit Options -> and scroll down a bit, there's the panic button option. If you turn it on, the panic button will appear on the top of whatever page you're on. If you click it, it'll take you to a separate website not related to TH (you can pick the website). This would be useful if your parents walk in the room while you're on the site. Even if you make an account you also have the option of posting anonymously so your username won't be seen by anyone on the site except for relevant moderators.