[Starseeker]

Hi there,
thanks for reaching out to us.
I'm so sorry to hear what you've gone through. Having sex for the first time is very important to most people and it can have an impact on us even later on in the future. While it's not possible to turn back time, it might be a good idea to focus on the positive aspect of the whole situation: you gained experience and learnt a lot, and will know how to deal with similar people in the future.
From what you've described it seems that he took advantage of you, your sensitivity and kindness, which are very noble traits and in no way are you responsible for what happened. He knew you wanted an intimate, special first time with the person you were planning your future with, so he deceived you on purpose by keeping his other relationships secret, and I imagine you wouldn't have consented had you known the truth. Again, I am so sorry this happened, and you have our full support here on TeenHelp - if you'd like to chat privately, I will be happy to help, and I'm sure so will be every other Staff member. You're probably feeling a lot of emotions right now, so it would be good to take it easy the next few weeks - perhaps exploring some new forms of self-care, spending some time outside, devoting time to your hobbies or maybe meeting your family or friends, if you think that's what could make it all more bearable. Time heals wounds, and I hope that with each day you'll be able to discover yourself, who you are, and how wonderful you are, no matter what happened in the past. All the best to you!
xx Sue