[Hiraeth.]

I'm sorry your panic attacks have gotten bad. They can come to us so suddenly, out of nowhere, for no reason whatsoever. We might be in such a great mood, hanging out with our best friends at the local shop and boom... anxiety doesn't give a crap, it's going to take over your brain. I deal with that all the time as well, and it's nervewracking. It's such a mood buster, so I can relate!

Have you considered therapy? I mean, there's really no way to defeat anxiety, but there are ways to manage it or lessen the severity of it. Having a therapist means learning how to safely and quickly manage anxious thinking by turning that energy into something healthy, by reminding yourself that it's your anxiety talking and that doesn't necessarily mean that's the truth, etc and so on forth.

Wishing you the best of luck!