[NeuroBeautiful]

Hey Dawn,

I am sorry to hear that your anxiety is in full swing. I know you mentioned you brought it on yourself. I want to say that it is not something to feel ashamed about. Anxiety is actually there to protect you. Maybe the self-talk you can use is "Thank you body for alerting me to danger but right now the anxiety is not serving me and I want to be able to face my fears by driving. Please let me do this" It might feel cheesy to talk like this but it is more about setting intentions and definitely switch it up to do it your own style.

Another part of this to keep in mind is that it is important to stick to the facts. I used to strongly dislike this DBT skill but I realized it has its place. My therapist used this when I was overreacting to a trauma trigger. She helped me realize that there are facts and there is how I'm interpreting it as much scarier than it actually is. As Dez said, remind yourself you have a pattern of being a safe driver. That's a fact. Remind yourself you've been doing it for a long time, also a fact.
I remember when I was at a camp and was afraid to go on a this swing contraption. The staff facilitating it said that the contraption was used to lift airplanes, and how much do I weight that I think I'm going to make the whole thing collapse? I don't have that kind of power, as much as my anxiety convinced me that I did.


Some people might think of their anxiety [disorder] as a Part that is sort of frozen in time to the age that the anxiety first began. So when it was 15 years ago for example, you were a child! How would you speak to a child who is genuinely afraid? How would you comfort that child and remind them that you as an adult got this but said child needs to step back a little and let your adult self be the adult! This might be more long term work because like any child, we start with building a trusting relationship before we ever begin with critical feedback.





Anxiety is an automatic response. This doesn't mean you are helpless and stuck. It just means that the anxiety lives in your body and it is time to come up with 2-3 grounding techniques that you find can work. This means trying a bunch till you find the few that work.

This may be far fetched but some drivers with anxiety actually seek specific driving instructors for that even after they've gotten their license. For example I know that my previous neighbor took driving lessons specifically for highways/expressways/boulevards because that was specifically bringing up anxiety for her. Alternatively, maybe a family member or friend is willing to be your buddy on this and maybe in return you can be a buddy for them on something they're working on? Rally up that support, even if you just tell friends that this is something you're working on and you are telling them about it becsuse you know they're supportive and ask if they can be a moral support to you. Most people want to be helpful if they're shown how. Moral support makes a difference when facing fears because at the end of the day, you are really the one doing it "alone" as no one can have courage on your behalf but people can cheer you on and it makes it less isolating.

When you drive, personalize it in whatever way you can. Anything that would make you feel more comfortable when it comes to decoration, scents, snacks, gum, podcasts and/or music playlists and/or CDs. This will motivate you because it will make the trip more pleasant. Of course you know yourself best and you won't do anything that is counterproductive or distracting or can make you sleepy. Aim for calm yet alert. Similar to how you would prepare for studying? That's what comes to mind but obviously you know what vibe would work.


Anyway, I hope that your day improves from here despite the high anxiety. Please be kind to yourself. Kind doesn't mean passive. It just means a combination of accountability and taking care of your emotions whereas shame will definitely make it worse.