[Moxie.]

Dating is definitely scary, even without a new diagnosis! Just like you, so many people experience worries about things such as the right time to hold hands, how to ask someone out, and what to even do on the date. You're definitely not alone in that regard.

In terms of things like holding hands, I don't think there is a strict timeline that you need to follow on your date. It's more important that it feels natural and like the right time for you and your date. If there isn't a moment that feels right to take that step on the first date, that's perfectly fine! You can just let the focus be about getting to know each other and feeling out the vibe. When the time does feel right, you can either go based off of instinct and try reaching for her hand or you can ask for consent. Either way, be sure to take her reaction into account and make sure you don't push her to do anything she isn't ready to do.

I think the same thing goes for deciding when to tell her that you're autistic. You made a valid point when you said that waiting to tell her will give her the chance to get to know you without any preconceived notions that she might have about autism. Dez also made a valid point by saying that telling her beforehand will give you the opportunity to get her support as a friend while you work up the courage to ask her out. At the end of the day, there isn't a right or wrong answer. It's about when it feels like the right time for you and when you feel comfortable sharing.

I think both of the ideas that you came up with for your date are great! If you're worried about freezing up, try not to frame it as heavily as a date in your mind. You can continue to look at it as one-on-one time with a friend if that helps you act more naturally and just let things go as they go. Whatever you decide to do, keeping things low-stakes (location of the date, date activity, etc.) will likely help you relax some so you can have the best time and show off your best self on the date!

If there's anything else I can do to help, please feel free to shoot me a PM or respond to this thread!