[TH Anonymous]

[SIZE="a"]Hey everyone, I was wondering if anyone had any advice on dating as a late diagnosed autistic person.
I've been recently diagnosed as autistic, and while I'm happy to have answers on questions I've had my whole life, the news seems to have tanked my confidence when it comes to dating.


I've never really dated before and have only been in 1 relationship, and in that relationship we didn't actually get to have an official first date until a month into it. However I like this person I met a few months ago and think they may like me as well, although I have a really hard time figuring it out for sure. (Although a friend of mine who also is friends with the person I like says she thinks they like me as well)

I have been thinking about asking them out, but my main worries all stem from my autism.


First of all, I realize that since I have no experience really 'dating' I have no idea what really happens on a date that makes it any different from hanging out with a friend. I don't know when it's the right time to even hold hands. Any advice I read online feels very unnatural to me, but I don't want to come off as cold or uninterested. I realize that I usually rely on previous data and experiences when I'm in my day to day life, but I don't have anything to fall back on in this case. I've also never really had confidence with flirting, as I'm always afraid I'm creeping the other person out, or just plain embarrassing myself.



Secondly, I don't know when would be appropriate to tell this person that I'm autistic. I feel that perhaps telling them before I even ask them out may be best, since we're already friends. But then I also don't know if telling them after a first date would be better as that would give them time to get to know me more without the perception of me being autistic.


I was thinking maybe asking them out to a movie and then coffee after would be a good option, or going mini putting at a local indoor location so there's an activity going on. We've already hung out one on one before and we both had a good time, but I'm afraid that as soon as I add the context of it being a date, I'll freeze up. Whenever we talk it just flows naturally, which is part of the reason i like this person, but historically I'm not good under pressure.


For context, this person is very nice and we talk every single day, I don't really have a huge worry that they would decline a date simply because I'm autistic. However the diagnosis is very new, to the point I've only told my brother, who is also autistic. I haven't even told my parents or my friend who's been trying to help me with this crush situation.[/size]