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Hi Hasan!

My therapist always tells me to have something to look forward to when I am feeling suicidal, or to make a goal so I can't die until I complete that goal. When the thing I'm looking forward to or want to accomplish happens, I make up something else. What you look forward to doesn't have to be anything big. It could be that you have to live until you finish your favorite book series or beat a video game. Then, make the new goal.

You also don't have to live for anything big either, if there's nothing big going on. You can live because you want to see the seasons change, because your pets would miss you, because you like enjoying your favorite beverage/food, because of sunny days, or something else. This is a list of reasons to live. Maybe you'll find something on that list that really speaks to you.

This is a list of alternatives. I know it talks about things like self harm and addiction but I think that they can be good coping mechanisms for a ton of different situations. Give it a try and see if some of the things listed there help you feel better when things get really rough.

You said you can't talk to anyone, but can you find another way to express yourself, such as through writing, art, or music? It can really help to have an outlet for your emotions. You don't have to create anything that "makes sense," it's just all about getting it out of your system so it's not bottled up as much.