[Proud90sKid]

I am sorry for your loss. You need to get this under control with a psychologist. I am more concerned about you developing a starvation-type eating disorder than obesity (which a lot of people are anyways!). That is often what happens with binge eaters who feel a lot of guilt: it can evolve into bulimia and letting that happen isn't the proper way of dealing with this. There are things that you can eat that will fill your stomach and satisfy a food craving for junk food but please don't start counting calories while you are feeling so guilty and depressed about your eating. That is psychologically unhealthy. As is dealing with negative emotions by eating excessively. It is definitely worth talking to someone about this as soon as you can so that you don't develop a more severe eating disorder and the myriad of problems that come with that. A combination of a dietician and a psychologist working together would probably be ideal in your situation. The dietician will help you reduce your intake while the psychologist will help ensure that you are maintaining a healthy relationship with that process, help deal with frustration and negative emotion that is likely to occur while you complete it, and help you learn to process grief in a healthier manner.

An addiction to food isn't as stigmatized as a drug or alcohol addiction. While I don't know anything about you, typically people will be more understanding than you think about such an issue. Even more so if you have a treatment or goal plan in mind that you can discuss. And probably doubly so on top of that if you had a trigger like grief.

Seeing a psychologist isn't that abnormal at all either (you may agree with this more when you call to make your initial appointment, but you eventually will get through to someone who can see you soon unless you are in the middle of nowhere-in which case you can do zoom appointments).You could very likely do it without anyone knowing what the issue is. For dietician, just say you want to get healthier and more fit with good eating habits while you are still young. Or say that either the psychologist or your doctor recommended the dietician. There: nothing disclosed. You can make it all not a lie too, because you are dealing with difficulty processing grief that a psychologist would help with and a psychologist would very likely recommend you to a dietician if you request it. So you'd have a valid and inconspicuous reason to see both.