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I moved the thread over to Rape & Abuse for you.

I'm sorry that you went through this. Remember that nothing that happened was your fault. Guilt tripping you into allowing him to do sexual acts is not consent, and it's also awful that he had a girlfriend already. It was very courageous of you to end the relationship with him like you did, and it's great that you have cut contact with him. He's out of your life and can't harm you anymore.

I can understand why you would have issues trusting people going forward. I'm not saying that you have to tell every future partner what you went through, because that wouldn't necessarily be a good idea, but maybe if there's a partner that things are moving in the right direction with, you can communicate with them about things. You can just say that you had something happen in your past that makes it harder for you to trust people. Ask them if you can take your time with them if needed and only move at a pace you feel comfortable with. Keep the lines of communication open in any relationship you do enter, because the more honest you are both with each other, the better you'll be able to build up trust. The right partner will understand that this is a process. Maybe if you are ever with someone in the future you can make a note of the "green flags" that you see within the relationship and make sure the green heavily outweighs any negatives.

I'm hoping other people can come in and speak more to the moving on side of things, but perhaps you can find ways to express yourself in a healthy way? For example do you like art, writing, signing, or dancing? Those are ways you can get out some of your emotions. You don't have to directly mention what happened by name in whatever creative piece you do. It can be abstract, or it can take the form of something else entirely. Also find ways to distract yourself if negative thoughts come up.

I hope things start looking up for you.

Take care,
Dez