[Starseeker]

Hi Paxton,
thanks for reaching out.

There are some red flags in her behaviour that you have described. It is much easier to avoid being manipulated once you're aware that this type of behaviour is not OK. It's unlikely she's being manipulative on purpose, but it might affect you negatively nonetheless.

I'll take the liberty of quoting my own experience as an example here. I used to date a guy who displayed similar behaviour to what you've described. We had been dating for 2 years and had moved in together 6 months into the relationship. He told me he loved me within 2 weeks of knowing each other, and while I was taken aback, I took it for a good sign. During our 2-year relationship I wanted to break up a couple times, but he always shrugged off my concerns, saying it was only a 'worse period for us', and 'we'll sort everything out because we're meant for each other', or something along those lines. When I finally managed to break up with him for good, he was in denial for a few weeks. He would send me messages 'love will always find a way', 'we'll live apart for a couple months and then we'll get back together', etc. I endured this for some time, but one day it had gone too far. I felt like my boundaries were being violated again and again. I sent him a couple messages stating clearly: NO, we're not soulmates; NO, we'll never be together; NO, I don't want to go on a date ever again; NO, don't wait for me, because I will never come back to you.
Long story short, I haven't heard from him since.

During the process of break-up I felt so much guilt it was overwhelming. I felt like I was hurting him, so I was the villain, that he loved me, so maybe I'd never meet another person who'd love me so much.
Wrong.
I was doing the right thing: choosing what was best for myself. He was manipulative and guilt-tripping me, but his behaviour and his feelings were NOT my responsibility. I was only responsible for myself and my actions, and the best choice for me was to leave the relationship decidedly (and as politely as possible, but unfortunately sometimes it's necessary to be impolite if the other person does not understand a 'no').

In conclusion: if I were you I would cut off contact with this girl, or at least limit it as much as possible. The more contact you have with each other, the more likely she is to misunderstand your words/actions or believe it's still possible for you two to be together. I suggest not replying to her messages. I know it's difficult, but after some time she might stop texting you. And very importantly: don't get involved in any discussions with her.

I hope this helps, let us know how it's going, and feel free to ask questions if you have any. I hope everything goes well for you. xx
Cheers
Sue