[Moxie.]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at TeenHelp!

I'm sorry to hear that you're struggling with so much anxiety. Anxiety definitely has a way of making even the most basic tasks feel overwhelming and can create a pressure that feels insurmountable.

Have you ever thought about seeking professional help for your anxiety? Seeing a therapist can be highly beneficial, as they can help you work through it to find the root causes (if any) of your anxiety. Additionally, a therapist will be able to provide you with coping mechanisms and come up with a plan to help make the anxiety feel more manageable. I know going to a therapist can be scary itself, but doing so will give you a safe, confidential space to talk about what you're experiencing with someone that cares and has the tools to help, particularly with the toll that this is taking on you.

If going to a therapist isn't something you're ready to do or isn't currently accessible for you, perhaps you can try taking small steps to try things that usually make you nervous. For instance, you mentioned feeling shame about buying things for yourself when going shopping alone. Rather than going on a big shopping spree for yourself, perhaps you could try going to a local convenience store alone and buying yourself a small treat, like a favorite snack or drink. Once that starts feeling more comfortable, move on to a store that feels a bit more scary, such as a clothing store and buy yourself something small. As you work through it slowly, you may find that it isn't as scary as you thought. You can take this approach for just about anything you feel nervous about. Starting small can make the task feel a little bit easier and you may surprise yourself with how much you're truly capable of.

You also mentioned being nervous about what other people are thinking or how they perceive you. This is honestly more common than you may realize. To some degree, everyone wonders what other people are thinking when they see them - even the most confident person in the room. I remember struggling with that a lot when I was in high school. One thing that really helped me with that was reflecting on my own thoughts on the people around me. How often did I really notice if someone was a little bit awkward, had a small stain on their shirt, or was walking a little faster than normal? I realized that, truthfully, I really didn't notice those things about others. The same can be said about us. People really aren't paying as much attention as we often think they are and notice a lot less than we think they do. Even if they do notice something, it typically isn't something that they spend a lot of time thinking about. That's a myth that our brains have tricked us into believing. So, if you can, take a little bit of pressure off of yourself there.

I hope this helped! Please feel free to reach out if you have any other questions or concerns.

Take care,
Sam