hello, im new here so if i do anything wrong bare with me
me and my boyfriend of one year recently had came into issues where i dumped him, but after a day and a half we got back together (ik i sound indecisive i swear im a decent gf..) , i dumped him over thinking i had lost feelings due to him messing up a lot, like A LOT. his own best friends told me to threaten to break up if he didnt change bc they thought that was the only way hed change (after we got back together they also kept questioning my choice), now he never did anything like cheat or flirt with other girls.. he was just very stressful and immature. not to mention sensitive but hes always been like that. (getting upset over toddler stuff. like one of the worse was, i didnt have a game he wanted to play with me bc we never planned on playing it and then he got upset like a 4 year old.. even after he changed thats hard to get over. and its worse when he does stuff like that not only in-front of people but also involving other people, like he broke one of my best friends up w their lover just bc him and that lover didnt get along.. nobody was making them get along. at all. they never even crossed paths. )
recently hes explained how hes still upset that i dumped him and how he has personal issues and troubles due to it. and i understand that but idk its weird to me? i told him days before i did dump him that i was thinking about doing so and he was the fault of the break up not me. so its not like i broke his trust? i told him. i tried to be as transparent as possible. and even recently he messed up again after talking on my behalf to some friends after saying like 3 times he'd stop talking on my behalf (he told one of our mutual friends who im not as close with that i was sad that i dont make them happy?? i literally couldnt care less if i did. he just made that up in his head after i told him like 5 times "i dont care"). all this sounds like its impossible right? how could he be so annoying and bad and im flawless? now i dont think its at all possible im flawless, but i can say now i do not mess up as bad as he does. my mistakes ive done is like not fit some unrealistic expectation that i told him not to get his hopes up for, i dumped him and took him back, and im kinda obsessed with kids shows and youtubers or just normal shows in general that he doesnt like. literally some of our conversations go
"so what have you been doing?"
"well i watched [insert kids show he doesnt have interest in]"
"ok well anyways.."
and recently he got an interest im not into and you know what? i dont care! what i do care about is how he'll play it for 7 hours sometimes while we're on call and then he just ignores everything i say because hes focused on the game which is fine sometimes but not all the time? and i have never done that with any of my interests, maybe ive sang some songs or talked a bit too much about something he doesnt care about but that doesnt compare to playing a game and just ignoring me.. and ofc he gives me options but its either i play something with him or he ignores almost all of what i say while playing his game, and he knows ive been going through a phase where i dont have energy to play anything..
the only time ive done something similar to this was when i afk-
ed on a game for some achievement so i couldnt play anything with him (not like i would if i could) and i was still comepletely attentive in the conversation he just kept acting like i wasnt and as if i was ignoring him and too busy for him.. when i wasnt. he had my complete attention, and he knew tboyfrhat.
more recently we've set boundaries about it, but still this was something as recent as a week ago.
like hes still the one doing all the wrong and somehow someone like me (derogatory) is still the saint of this relationship, and he says hes mad at me over hurting him with the break up? like yes i agree i hurt him, you can feel like that. but idk in a way its like you cant give me dirt for that when youre still sucky just slightly less..
i dont know, honestly most of my past crushes or relationships when its gotten this hard my partner would just leave and id either be too desperate trying to go back or too prideful to go back