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Hey,

I’m sorry to hear about what you are going through.

I understand that you were taught that masturbation is shameful but it’s really not. It’s very natural and normal for us to explore our bodies and do things to pleasure ourselves. It’s normal to have sexual desires and to want a way to express them. It’s a healthy way to release stress and even relax. It helps you determine what you want, like, and dislike which is something you can either use for solo masturbation or even to guide a future partner. It can help you learn more about your body and get more in tune with it.

From what I have heard, masturbation isn’t something that is explicitly talked about in the Bible one way or another either, although I can’t verify this one way or another. I’m not religious but I thought that God was supposed to be forgiving as well, where He wouldn’t necessarily send you to Hell for this.

I’ve heard it argued that masturbation is actually a way to care for ourselves. We do other things to care for ourselves like getting our nails done or going to the spa. These are activities they give us pleasure and help us to love ourselves. Masturbation is like that. You are doing something for yourself that brings you pleasure.

All in all I don’t think you’re going to Hell just because you masturbate and it doesn’t make you a bad person to masturbate. It’s not something I would talk to your parents or church about since it may not be safe for you to do so. But you deserve to care for yourself.