[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thank you for reaching out! I'm sorry that you have to deal with this. It can get incredibly stressful when your home doesn't feel as safe as it should be.

Reactions like jumping suddenly when he's around or having nightmares are just your body's natural instincts. If anything, your mind has been sharp enough to sense the red flags/warning signs about Tom given your careful observations about his behaviour and the way he speaks.

However, it would probably not be conducive and sustainable to go on living this way at your apartment if you're not feeling fully safe in Tom's presence. Have you thought of alternative living arrangements? Are you in a position to move? I can understand that moving is a demanding process financially, emotionally and physically, but you might want to consider some other living options.

The others' suggestions of speaking with your other roommate is also a good idea. It helps to share your thoughts; for all you know, they might be on the same page as you.

Take care, and please feel free to PM me if you need to chat.