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I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through! It does sound like this caused a lot of trauma for you that is affecting you now. What you experienced is very real, and your feelings are very valid. It is understandable that seeing content relating to bullying is triggering to you after having experienced it for so long. You did not deserve bullying in any way, shape or form. I know you've probably heard this before, but it reflects bad on the bullies, not you, and what they said to you is not true.

Try and think about the ways that you are a valuable person. What things are you good at? What do you like about yourself (physically, personality, talents/skills, etc). It can even be something small, like you like your smile or you like that you're good at crossword puzzles. What do your friends and family like about you? If you're not sure about what they like about you, it's okay to ask them. Those are things that nobody can take away from you, no matter what. They are the important things, the things that actually matter.

Do you think as far as enjoying meeting new people, you could join clubs, social groups, or volunteer opportunities? I don't know if you're in high school or college but both types of schools, or even your surrounding town, should have some sort of social group or volunteer activity. The reason I suggest these is because unlike meeting a random stranger on the street, you know that the people in a club or volunteering activity joined because they have a similar interest to you. This can be something you form a bond on and can be what you talk about with them at first until you build up the ability to converse about other topics. Sometimes we have to go out of our comfort zone to get the results that we are looking for, so I get that something like this won't be easy!

Do you have any outlets for when you start to get triggered by content or when old memories come up? It can be anything, really. Writing, art, music, going for a run, dancing, or anything else. You don't have to be "good" at it, it's just a way to get everything out so it's not all built up inside. Or, is there anything you can use to ground yourself when you get upset? It can be a physical item like a fidget cube or a stress ball. Or, a DBT therapist I had told me to plant my feet flat on the floor/ground so I could feel them on the ground, and say something along the lines of "It is (date/time). I am in (location). I am safe." So, for example, "It is 10:30pm on March 15. I am on my living room couch, and I am safe." It kind of brings you back to the present moment a little bit.

We are huge critics of ourselves too. I don't know if negative self-talk comes along when you start to feel not confident. If it does, don't judge yourself for feeling that way. Acknowledge that you are not feeling confident and are having negative-self talk. But also tell yourself "No, that's not true. I (positive quality here)." Instead of saying "I can't do this" say "This is challenging, but I can do it."

I don't knw if this will help any, but I know you can do this!