I was doing so good. I had A MONTH. A month where my thoughts were actually good. I thought I was getting better but oh, NO. No, I'm back to my same old self. I was clean for a MONTH and a half. But I relapsed too days ago. Hell, I just did it again a few minutes ago. My sister probably knows about it now, too. She came into my room while i was gone and I can't find the tissues anymore (I forgot to throw them away.)
I'm never going to get better, am I.
I'm such a faker. I want to know what's wrong with me but I'm just attention seeking, right?
Ahh. I can't let go of my tool. I still have it. I tried putting it in a hard to access place, but I doubt that'll work. I spent an hour trying to
edited. And I was still in that mindset the entire time.
Any advice is appreciated. No, I won't tell my family. And I've hardly been able to talk to my therapist, so that's outta the picture too.