[Proud90sKid]

Because Asperger's (or if I was diagnosed today, it would be called Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)) is still very stigmatized. I feel that is my primary mental condition from which my anxiety stems from. I do tell some people that I have bad anxiety and sometimes take benzos for it, but this feels like a much milder disclosure. If I had depression, I may be more ashamed to admit that , not because people with depression should face stigma, but depression typically involves bad self thoughts (and is therefore more personal) whereas anxiety does not and therefore anxiety is a fairly simple mental condition to admit to as it is mostly just feeling jittery a lot of the time.

Sometimes people say things in conversations that make me feel like they believe that autistic people are overall incompetent. For example, if they don't know that I have it they may innocently say something like "but it isn't like you are autistic or anything like that, so you are gong to do fine" which makes it clear that they view ASD as a serious disability. People just talk about autism differently than other more accepted conditions like ADHD and at the moment, I don't see any utility in disclosing it.

If I told people at work, I honestly feel that it would result in me being denied promotions as people have very pre-conceived notions about ASD. This is a very real concern because people are often given or denied promotions based simply on how a manager intuitively feels about someone, which can be particularly dependent on their pre-conceived prejudices. I actually have experienced this personally when I was denied any teaching duties as a TA in graduate school more or less specifically because I was perceived as "autistic".


That said, when I get a higher paying job in the field that I want to get into (IT), I will start being more open about my ASD. I took a temporary office job after graduate school that has low pay so if I disclosed now I fear people would assume that I am in the right career for me, given my ASD. People seem to believe that all autistic people are only capable of jobs that pay low money. I feel like occupation is very important for how an autism disclosure is going to be perceived. If I ever find myself making more money than the average person, I will probably start to feel very comfortable disclosing. People can't feel superior to someone who is able to make more money than them and it would challenge their preconceived notions about autism spectrum people being incompetent or requiring support.