[Kate*]

I'm here right now. After years of putting up with my dad's narcissistic tendencies (per my therapist), and constant judgmental criticism of me as a human, he finally cut ties over my social media comments when Roe v. Wade was overturned. I blocked him, and my stepmom inserted herself, and let's just say, I was the adult in that series of interactions. That was July. He always called me on Thanksgiving and Christmas, and sent me gift cards for Christmas and my birthday. So, I wondered if it would continue. No phone calls, and no Christmas gift card last year. I find it ironic that they cut contact over something so minor after I tolerated (and was guilt tripped by my mom) into putting up with his crap for so long, but it is what it is, and I'm not disappointed. I set a boundary and he threw a tantrum, which is one of several patterns for him. As far as how long this will last or how far it will go, I'm not sure. I really like the fact that the decision is made because I struggled with it for years. But, the thought of not having him present or maybe even aware of major life events still has me torn. On one hand, I would feel bad, and on the other, if he was there, he would probably make a scene or spend the time engaged in his typical behavior which would make me miserable.

As far as the guilt-tripping goes, even if that person is well-meaning, once you're an adult, they don't get a say in the decisions you make. My mom did it with him until I was finally able to explain to her in detail what he was like. She would commiserate, having divorced him, but still try to push me to maintain contact. If you think explaining it to them will help, then you can try it, but you don't owe them the explanation.