[Everglow.]

Hi Lyl

First of all I am glad that you feel you can come here to vent. TH is a safe place and you are always welcome to talk about how you feel here.

I am sorry that you're going through some dark times at the minute. It's great that you are still here and fighting through the urges you have. No matter what the reason is, the fact you found a reason of any kind to not go through with these urges is an achievement and I'm happy you're still here. Are you able to perhaps find a way of recording what keeps your going when things are tough like this? Your parents are obviously one of them so that's a good start. That way you can have a resource for yourself with reasons to stay alive.

It;s great that you bought your concerns up with your therapist but i totally understand why the worry of your parents overhearing you would hold you back. Is there a reason why your therapy is over the phone? Do you think there would be a way to explore in-person therapy? If not, perhaps you could see if your therapist could help in other ways, such as through instant messaging? This way you have a little bit more privacy even if it's not 100% perfect.

Otherwise, you could always write your therapist a letter explaining your concerns for confidentiality because of the living arrangements. This way you are not holding back without cause and your therapist will understand. Being open is always a good thing in therapy.

Lastly I hope that you know nobody here thinks you are faking anything. Your experiences and feelings are valid and TH is here for everyone. Please continue to reach out, I am glad you are here.