[PlutoTheOpposum]

I had a really strong urge last night. I can't say what for exactly (i'm on my school chromebook since I don't have any other form of communication) but it's what the TW is.
I remember it really vividly because I was laying there at 1am with shiloh dynasty playing in the background. Before you cringe at me, it's a really nostalgic artist because it's what I used to listen to when I was younger. But anyways, Shiloh dynasty was playing, and some of the moonlight was on the wall. The room was really dark. It didn't feel real. And I thought about doing it, but for reals. The only thing stopping me was that both of my plans were in my parents' room. So that's why I'm still here.
Idk, things have just been getting worse lately. I talked to my therapist on monday, but it didn't help. I feel like therapy doesn't really work for me if it's on a phone, because I'm so worried my parents'll hear something.
Honestly I wouldn't be making this post, but my emotions are getting out of control I think. When I'm angry, that's the first thing I consider doing (seriously, I should add). Same with the few times I'm sad. But most of the time I'm not quite sure what I'm feeling.
I'm scared I'm gonna do something. I made another post on this, but it's getting more serious now. I don't care if anyone thinks I'm faking this, I rreally don't. I don't care about going back to the hospital, the only thing I care about is that if I do, my parents are gonna talk about me behind my back. I hate it.

Thanks for letting me vent, this is all I really have.