Okay, help. These last few days I've felt so explosive. Any small thing, any small comment-- it makes me SO MAD. I'm not even kidding. Now this isn't a huge problem on it's own, but the problem is that I get really violent urges when these outbursts happen. So much so to the point I feel I could harm another person (one thing I've said I could never ever do, I didn't think I was capable of.)
I usually just channel this towards myself. I'm in a tight spot right now, and my parents know I had been
SH'ing, so I can't really do that, but the urge is just so strong. I usually bite myself, and I now have bruises on my hands. I'm terrified someone will see and think somethings happening, or even worse-- my parents will see.
I don't know where this started. I mentioned it in another comment, but my mood is just ALL OVER the place. One minute, I'll be happy, and then the next I'll be fuming. It's terrifying, I can't imagine being my family having to live with me like this.
It's so bad to the point where I was singing and writing yesterday, and then jjust out of nowhere I got mad and started yelling at me sister. We switched rooms, and so now I have my own room. But it's still there.
i'm scared I'm gonna hurt someone. I don't think I'll hurt myself past biting/hitting, but idk.
I've tried distracting myself, and it usually works, but my mood is just so inconsistent that it's only temporary.
I wish I was normal lol. It probably doesn't help that I haven't seen my therapist in two months. idk
thanks for reading this far, any advice is appreciated.