[Mallika]

Hello Lyl,

Thank you for reaching out to us here on TeenHelp. I hope you will find this a safe space to express your concerns and seek support/advice.

High school is a challenging time for many students universally. I think it is wonderful and thoughtful that you're trying to be a support person for the LGBTQIA+ folk in your school. It is nice that you befriended T and are looking out for him, but his repeated action of asking you for things doesn't seem right to me. Yes, he is your friend, but you are not obligated to always be giving him what he wants. Especially if you are having to give him your mother's items or things which you don't wish to spend your money on, you shouldn't. Next time he asks you for something, don't be afraid to say no. I think that T might need professional mental health support given his behaviour, and if possible, you can encourage him to speak with your school's counsellor since he has told you that he has his "issues".

I agree with Ennui that having an open conversation with him can help clarify things. Our own assumptions and doubts can disturb us mentally and so it can help massively to be transparent with the other party. I also agree that friendships can end. At the end of the day, friendships are human relations. Human relations evolve all the time. Many of us end friendships for various reasons, and I've done this myself. If things are not going the right way with T, it is alright to decide that it might be in your best interest to discontinue being friends with him. I'm not telling you to cut off ties with him if you don't wish, but if you feel that having a distance from T will be better, then I hope to assure you that there's nothing wrong with that. Of course being helpful to our friends is important, but too much of anything is a bad thing. You're also a student at the end of the day, and are not obliged to be tending to all your friends' demands.

Friends come and go. High school especially is a time when we constantly think if our friends like us or not. Feeling lonely in school (or even college) is more common than you think. I also encourage you to pick up hobbies or other healthy pursuits - e.g. sports, a musical instrument, volunteering. I have made many amazing friends through my different hobbies and would always vouch for young individuals to pick up new hobbies. Just like most things in life, friendships take time. You'll eventually meet lasting friends as you grow older.

I've attached some links here on how to cope with feelings of loneliness in high school:
https://schools.au.reachout.com/articles/feeling-alone
https://au.reachout.com/articles/11-...feeling-lonely
https://www.teenvogue.com/story/what...nely-at-school

Take care!