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Name: Dez
Age: 28
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Pronouns: She/They
Location: Connecticut, USA

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Points: 175,274, Level: 59 Points: 175,274, Level: 59 Points: 175,274, Level: 59
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Join Date: November 16th 2010

Re: My friends drifting away. - November 23rd 2022, 09:52 PM

I'm sorry all of this is happening with T.

I know your friend said that T doesn't like you anymore and finds you annoying, but I would think about how truthful that friend is being. I'm not saying that your friend is lying, and she could be telling the truth, but evaluate how trustworthy the friend is. Consider talking to T and asking him if he is upset with you or anything like that. You can ask him, "I feel as if we have been drifting apart lately and I am worried that you are angry with me. Is anything going on?" Of course, his reaction can guide where things go from there, such as whether the friendship needs to end or whether you can discuss ways to repair it.

I AM concerned though that T may be using you, at least a little bit. You do his work for him and he is always asking for stuff and expecting things from you. Those are red flags to me and is something else you should look into. Think about if it is really fair that he is always asking things of you. If you do want the friendship to continue and you two decide to work thigs out I'd set a clear, firm boundary with him that you will no longer be doing his work for him and that you will say "no" when you need to when he asks you to give him stuff. Stick to these boundaries. If he's upset with that, it may be a sign.

Remember that sometimes friendships do end, sometimes for no reason. Sometimes people naturally drift apart, and that's okay. You still have all the good memories and maybe a lesson learned that you can use when meeting new people in the future. I think it's super valid that you want people to like you! Everyone deserves to have friends that care, and I think most people feel the way you do in that they want to be liked.

With the two friends that you see but don't talk to a lot, maybe you can start to spend more time with them outside of school if possible. Text them more frequently to see how their days are going and share things about your day. Talk about classes, books, movies, whatever you two are interested in. If possible, hang out outside of school.

Try and look for clubs, social groups, or even volunteer opportunities, either in or out of school. That's a great way to meet people who have similar interests.

I do wish you the best of luck with this.


Do you ever get a little bit tired of life
Like you're not really happy but you don't wanna die
Like you're hanging by a thread but you gotta survive
'Cause you gotta survive
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