[Kate*]

I hate that I have NO realistic idea of how I'm really doing because they're being overly encouraging to everybody. It's like I'm waiting for my first performance review to finally get the truth out of them and find out that I've been right the whole time that I really suck at this. Lucky for me, "It's damn near impossible to get fired." But, he knows I would be interested in the full-time, and at this point, I wouldn't give it to me, so I don't expect to get it. I swear this disability has never shown itself more. That either means I'm more comfortable than I've ever been, so I'm not hiding it, or this is literally the worst thing for me to be trying to do.

Being babysat again all day. On the verge of tears or quitting. He can tell me its and I'm fine all day long. But, I know its not. And its only going to get worse.

Since giving them the chance to tell me the truth isn't working and is likely driving them completely insane. New plan, shut up, and keep my guard up for the other shoe that will likely drop. I can't trust this to save my life and it's exhausting.