[FONT=""][COLOR=""][SIZE=""]Hello. My name is Chase. I am a 16 year old female to male transgender. I crossdress (wear male clothing) 24/7. The people around me all acknowledge me as male. I do not plan to pursue transgender surgery however, as it is against my religion.

That's just background information. This is the only service I could think to use for this specific purpose: I am having trouble regarding my... sexuality.

Look, this is gonna sound borderline criminal. I'd like to assure you that I have NOT broken any laws. Everything I am about to describe is 100 percent legal. It is morally bankrupt, it is indicative of psychological issues... but it is legal.

This means legal action cannot be taken against me for the things I say in this email. Surely you understand this. Also, I'd like to assure you nobody is being put in harm's way because of my... sexuality.
I'm never around children. I spend all my time shut away in my room, or at school. HIGHschool. Because I'm 16. No contact with children there, at all. So nobody is in danger.

Sorry for that long disclaimer. You just need to understand that I am afraid to say this stuff. This gets out, my life falls apart. And man, I JUST pieced it together. After so many things happened, which I maybe will have to talk about later... it was just rough.

But now, in regards to the topic at hand. Sexuality. Yes. So basically, for a while I thought I was just normal. Like, I'm biologically female and I like men, right? That's so totally normal. In junior high I dated girls, yknow how it is. Normal stuff. But recently that's taken QUITE the turn.

I started dating much older men in grade.. 10 or 11? I was like, 14.
The oldest one was 42.
The entire time he was like totally lying to me about other things but yeah, basically that's when my sexual preferences began to skew abnormal.

Now, recently, I've become obsessed with the idea of being a young boy. When I was a child, I was not allowed masculine expression. Now, I cling to every aspect of boyishness I can. In dress and style, and in activities and hobbies.
I have taken to admiring the young male form.

And again, at first it seemed like my gender dysphoria manifesting itself.
But now... well, about two hours ago I searched up "little boys in speedos" and jacked it to the images.
All of the images that showed up were LEGAL of course. The boys were not NAKED. Just in swimsuits. Swimsuit images are not illegal.

But legality doesnt always dictate MORALITY.
I know this is immoral. I feel such great guilt that I have hurt myself because of this.

Today, I will try not to hurt myself, as it still hurts from last time I did. Superficial wounds really. I give them proper wound care. Do not worry.

I just want some guidance on what I'm supposed to do with an attraction like this??? I still like adult men and girls my own age, so it's not like I'm exclusively into little boys. I just want to purge myself of the attraction.

Please help. I didnt know where else to go.[/size][/color][/font]