[Everglow.]

Hey - AroAce here!

So, asexuality is definitely a spectrum! Since I settled on that as my label I've learnt a million different words for a million different variations of asexuality and I learn a new one every day. The thing I've found with the Ace community is they're very open people and there's words for just about everything, but because of that it's sometimes hard to find 'your' word. It's a journey and it's yours, so try not to panic about not knowing right away - nobody does really and that's fine. Identify with whichever term feels right in the moment, and if something else feels more right later, then you can always change your mind.

It sounds like you could be on the ace spectrum somewhere, as plenty of asexual people have sex and even enjoy it. It's not the act of sex itself that makes you asexual, but the lack of sexual attraction. The question to ask isn't 'would I have sex?', but 'do I experience sexual attraction'. Even then, you can experience sexual attraction sometimes, but mostly not at all - and that would make you greysexual.

I don't know if this is helpful to you, but I hope it is! For me, I found that social media taught me loads. I'm a member of facebook groups for asexual people, and although I never post and I mainly lurk, seeing other people talk about their experiences is validating and educational. I think that talking to your sibling is very similar, and if you're comfortable asking her it could be really helpful in picking apart your own feelings!

If you want to talk to anybody else then feel free to let me know! I'd be happy to answer questions if it's helpful. Remember you don't need to know right away, or ever, and whatever you identify, you'll be valid regardless.