[PlutoTheOpposum]

Hey again~
More ventingg
Tw for purging/restricting

Recently (only like three weeks ago) I started feeling consistantly guilty for eating. I'm not just talking binging, even eating. I've always been overweight/obese, and I've always had a problem with binging. Occasionally I would restrict, but only up to a few days at a time. While I haven't eaten at school for a good while, i usually always eat at home. But as of these past 2 weeks, I've been avoiding as many meals/snacks as I can. I would heavily restrict the next day if I binged, and would always purge immedietly after dinner or a binge. I've become obsessed with calories and the scale, and if the scale goes up I restrict the next day. I've become anxious with foods I don't know the calories of, and dinner is the worst time (since I have to eat with my family, and they catch onto excuses pretty easily.)

I've been feeling blah as of recently, but I keep getting headaches and getting dizzy. I almost fell over today..the hunger hurts, too but as much as I hate to admit it it makes me feel validated.

I want to stop, but I don't want to stop. I don't think I have an eating disorder because I'm overweight and still eat. But I'm just scared I'm gonna get worse because I've lost a lot of weight and I feel naseous even looking at food.

Ahh thanks for listening thats all...