I'm leaving the site. There's a lot that went into it. I made mistakes (a ton and I wish I could go back and fix them) but I was tired of seeing right wing rhetoric, bigotry and transphobia allowed even by myself.

My biggest mistake was not speaking out sooner but I didn't have the spoons. Hell I still don't have the spoons. I'm currently at a place where a psych hospital stay would help regulate me but I don't have the leave and FMLA runs out in like 3 days and then I have to pay 1k for my premium which doesn't include other bills.

I had a lot of pent up anger over that and might not have always expressed myself eloquently. I think my best friend did a better job of that. But no matter what I did I was shut down and certain transphobic phrasing angered me more.

We all make mistakes and I wish TH mistakes hadn't led to me leaving but even if they are able to make the changes (which I hope they do for current and future users) I can not stay.

I'm sure I lost people over this and I don't know that I care sure. It hurts but speaking out and doing the right thing to combat passive bigotry is more important. Plus, pretty much everyone in my life is LGBTQIA and I was angered thinking that these are the things they experience and are shot down for.

The intent probably wasn't malicious but idk that passive bigotry is ever malicious in nature. The thing that led to me leaving was when I was told that banning talks of JK Rowling (which I clarified I simply meant th hosting events surrounded by her world ) meant that we would have to ban discussion surrounding transphobia.

This angered me more than anything else and was the point where I knew I needed to let go of my savior complex which is why i stayed. I saw what was going on and thought by staying I could help others be safe. I ignored my own feelings of being unsafe.

What I'll say is that I did the right thing. I am sure I angered people but as my best friend put it "You had a lot of pent up anger and weren't always as eloquent". They are correct and if I could do it again I would be more eloquent but I'm not sure it would matter.

I'm not angry anymore and on a positive note th saved my life and I believe if they can resolve the current issues they could be around for a long time to help save others. Without TH I wouldn't be here and for that I will always look fondly on my memories here. This was just a blip among a ton of positive experiences.

I have asked them to delete my account, posts, blogs and articles so this will disappear but I wanted to give an explanation as to why I left and why it was so abruptly.

All organizations have their issues but if they work to change they can get better and my hope is that th will work to change. I like to think that they want to change because the majority of staff are kind hearted individuals. Maybe in a few years I'll come by and see the changes and be proud that I was part of the site.

I wish it hadn't taken me leaving or another person leaving but I also wish I had spoken up sooner. This will forever be my biggest regret no matter the reason. I know lack of spoons and my continued battle with feeling like my voice doesn't matter were a contributing factor but I should have done more. I walked away from this knowing that in future instances I will use my voice louder and more eloquently.

I'll be good. I'm working on accomplishing my dreams and I walked away with my best friend. No matter who or what else I lost, that is the greatest gift of TH.

I wish TH the best. It has so many good features and I'd love to see it expand. I used to want to be part of that expansion but I know and have known for some time I'm not meant to be.

Take care everyone.