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Re: Why do a lot of women go through a “lesbian phase” -
April 27th 2022, 07:50 PM
While I understand what you are asking and that you are not trying to be intentionally offensive, I do find your stance problematic for many reasons. Sexuality is influenced by a number of factors, many of which are genetic, and not environmental in nature. While trauma can affect the exploration of sexuality, trauma and BPD have never "made" anyone a specific sexual orientation. Lots of women think they are lesbians. When I still identified as female, I went through a period where I thought I was a lesbian. It had nothing to do with my trauma background; I simply found a stronger connection with females, found them more compatible with me and more physically attractive, and so I thought and identified openly as gay for a while. The good thing about sexuality is not only is it a spectrum, but it's fluid, and changes over time. I don't think what you're describing is a "phase" at all, but rather a progression of sexuality with new information and new experiences under their belts.
Oh, and one more note: a man doesn't make a woman anything, even if someone who is bisexual chooses to settle down in a long-term romantic and/or sexual relationship with a man after identifying as a lesbian or bisexual. It has nothing to do with the partner, but the person, and what they find to be right for them at any given time. For example, I learned over time I feel more attracted to other trans folks. It's not because cis people traumatized me or I haven't found the right cis person; I am simply more informed and have more experiences to make more positive choices for myself.
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