Thread: nothing ever gets better
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Re: nothing ever gets better - April 18th 2022, 05:07 AM
Hey Danni,


So, there are a few things I want to address and I hope it will help in some way. Firstly, I want to empathize with you on how frustrating it can be to have to deal with these cycles. I have bipolar, OCD and a whole lot of other stuff. My bipolar and OCD kind of go hand in hand and the OCD fuels my anxiety and it is a cycle. What I want to say is that it can get better but, usually, it takes time and small steps. These small achievements and steps will add up and eventually you will be able to look back on your life and see the growth. This is probably the most frustrating part of recovery because we have to struggle till it improves and, more often than not, we want the pain to stop sooner. It took quite some time for me to get to a better place with my mental illness. I still struggle and I know this is something I will face for the rest of my life but I have found that my struggles resolve themselves in a better way than they have in the past and I have more hope and knowledge that I will get through the spike in symptoms. I think the hardest thing for me in the past was that I never got to see what doing better looked like so I had a lot of hopelessness. Is that something you struggle with as well?


I think it is great that you go to therapy. Do you feel like you have a good working relationship with your therapist? Do you feel like you are working on the things you need too? If you feel like your therapist is helpful, I would suggest sharing more of this with her and see if there are goals you can work on in therapy to get to a better place.





Do you currently see a psychiatrist? If not, that might be an option. I know seeing a psychiatrist and taking medication can be scary but you might be able to talk to your therapist about any concerns you have and see if she can refer you to someone that takes your medical insurance. With the right psychiatrist you might be able to find a longer term medication that can help to alleviate the symptoms you are having so that you can work on longer term solutions in therapy. I have found therapy to be exhausting and when I am having a flare up and need a medication adjustment it is harder to work on the issues I need to in therapy because I am battling the flare up. The medication helps alleviate it all and then I work on it more thoroughly in therapy.


Lastly, I think that finding a way to put firmer boundaries with your family, specifically your mother is important. I know this is difficult to do and not everyone respects boundaries but she sounds like she is draining you. It might be a good idea to talk to your therapist a bit more about these boundaries and how best to assert them. I have two suggestions. One, I think that when you feel able too, you might try telling your mom that you are struggling and cannot cope with the interactions you are having. You should not have to provide all that emotional labor to interact with your mom. I know she might not respect this but it might feel nice to actually tell her and put that boundary up. If you do this or feel you cannot do this, another option is to stop taking her calls every day. Take them once or twice a week instead. I know there might be barriers to that but I have limited contact with some family due to struggles with boundaries and it being the best option.


I hope that this helped in some way and if you need anything feel free to PM me.