[FrozenRobot7]

i have struggled with depression of and on since high school (sophomore in college now) and i keep telling myself that things are going to improve. while things do obviously improve for spans of time, i feel like i always just circle back to the same place and i question how i can keep moving through this cycle.

i have had a lot of family problem starting when i was in 7th grade and with time they have only worsened. on top of this, i have ocd and there have been times in the last few years that the symptoms feel like they are taking over my life. i think i get a grip on things and then another new symptom pops up and it is also an endless cycle. i have spoken about this with a therapist and the two seem to be connected in some ways, but that makes it even harder to control.

i moved out of the house and to college last year and at first things seemed to be a lot better. but as time moved on, my family complained to me more and more about each other and their lives back home and it felt inescapable and it still does. recently its been particularly bad because my mom has been having a lot of health issues and it seems that has only worsened things there. i hear a 15 minute daily rant from my mom about how terrible everyone is and while ive tried to set boundaries in the past, they are bulldozed over like i never said them.

it feels like whatever progress i make is useless and i end up in the same nothingness space where i just am so tired. i feel like i am fighting a constant uphill battle and i dont see any end in sight. i want to keep holding on but its becoming harder and harder and i just want the struggle to be over already.

is there any suggestions as to how i can make life feel more manageable?