[Mallika]

Hello there,

Thanks for reaching out! I echo what Jenna says!

First things first, having children is a BIG commitment. It is a commitment of a lifetime. No one should feel pressured to have children, especially when they're not ready for it. And as humans, we all operate on different timelines. There are some people who have babies at 20. On the other hands, like Jenna mentioned, others prefer to have children once they're at a slightly more advanced stage in life when they have their career established (e.g. in late 20s or early 30s), or even later. There's no right or wrong; it's all about what works for you and your priorities in life. In my family, girls usually get married by 23 and get pregnant around 24. I'm 24, unmarried and single as a Pringle. I chose to keep things this way and made it clear to my parents, because I know I want to focus on my studies and career currently. It is important to speak up for ourselves.

I agree with Jenna that it is important to establish boundaries with your boyfriend with regard to this matter. You shouldn't feel pressured to have children just because he is so insistent. If his desire to have children at an earlier age is important, so is your opinion on the matter. You're going to be having this baby together. You could tell your boyfriend that while you respect his opinions, you are firm that you prefer having children only much later (e.g. 5 years). If you might be feeling that you are asking for too much, you are not. By advocating for yourself, you aren't being selfish. Please remember that. You're going to be carrying his baby; you don't want to enter a pregnancy knowing that you weren't ready for this. You deserve to have your voice heard.

I understand that you live with your boyfriend and that you don't want the the equilibrium to be disturbed because of this, but as Jenna said, you might want to think from the angle of whether you might want to continue being with someone who isn't able to respect your decision. I would suggest having an open, heart-to-heart conversation with your boyfriend about this matter of having children, and take it from there. You're always welcome to get in touch with us again at that stage, should you need any support and advice.

Wishing you the best

Best,
Mallika